Hot Tub Slut

Throughout the month of May I was hanging out with an ex-bartender from The Bar.  Kristin got what they call a “big girl job.”  Sure, she is still in school and I am sure her job is just as boring as mine but on nights and weekends she is free to do as she please.  Kristin and I have hung out a couple of times here and there.  We are both nerds… we like sci fi, video games, etc.  I took her with me to the Borderlands 2 launch event last fall.  We had a blast, except she probably felt weird hanging out with this old dude.  Recently we decided to start going to the movies together.

The first movie we saw was “Star Trek.”  We had some lunch at the Cheesecake Factory, then to the AMC Theater (which features a fully stocked bar), then we hit a couple of places afterwards.  It was quite the lovely day.

We decide to do it again the next weekend for “The Hangover 3.”  It didn’t go quite as well.

First, it was brunch at Blue Mesa Grill.  Brunch features endless mimosas as well as a buffet.  We had quite a few mimosas and some shots as well.  The only memorable shot was the Bacon Shot, which featured tequila, maple syrup garnished with a half slice of crispy bacon.

After brunch we head to the theater at the mall.  It was only then I began to realize that maybe Kristin might have had too much to drink.  I order a Makers (double) and Diet.  Kristin orders the same.  But she talking loudly and dropping F-bombs in front of passing children.  I worry that we might be asked to leave.  We get another shot and grab a couple of big beers to go into the theater.

There is a reason why I go to the movies by myself most of the time… usually other people bug me.  On this occasion Kristin is bugging me… as well as the rest of the theater.  She’s talking out loud and giggling at everything.  Whenever music comes on during the soundtrack she starts to chair dance and sing along with it.  Her chair gets kicked a couple of times by the chick sitting behind her.

After the movie Kristin says she needs to go shopping in the mall.  We hit Sephora (I have never been in there in my life) then Forever 21 (never been in here either).  While in Forever 21 Kristin grabs several bikinis, some jeans shorts and a pair of teal strappy shoes.  She goes to the fitting rooms to try these things on.  I wait outside dutifully.  At least I wasn’t holding a purse.  I was kind of hoping she would model the bikinis she was trying on.

A few minutes later she says she pops out of the dressing room is ready to pay for the stuff she wants.  At the cash register she drops one of the bikini bottoms to the floor.  Being a gentleman I reach down to pick them up.  She reaches at the same time… and rips the price tag off the teal strappy shoes she is wearing.  Oh my God, she is shoplifting!  I hand the bikini bottoms to the attendant behind the register and play it cool.  Her criminal act is naughty and somewhat exciting.  We exit the store without incident.  Kristin has gotten away with crime.  She is bubbly and excited about it.  “I have never done that before,” she says.

Kristin gets a call from Lisa, another bartender that we know.  Lisa is having a cookout at her parents’ house and we are invited.  Along the way we stop to get a case of beer… and a bag of sunflower seeds.  Kristin spends the rest of the ride arching her back out of the window of my jeep and spitting sunflower seeds in the air.  I am holding on to her calf because I am afraid she might tumble head first in the street.

We make it to house unscathed and find that it is a very small gathering.  Lisa is there with her parents.  Her husband is also there but he heads home rather quickly with a case of food poisoning.  Lisa also introduces us to her brother Rick.  He is in town for the holiday.  Although Rick is married he has left his wife back in Chicago for this trip.

Kristin regales Lisa and family with tales of her shoplifting experience.  I can’t tell if they are impressed or aghast with horror.  Regardless, Lisa’s dad lets Kristin know that if she needs to spend the night they have a spare bedroom she can stay in.

We do the Memorial Day cookout thing… burgers and hot dogs on the grill, ice cold beer in the cooler and an inviting pool with an attached hot tub.  Kristin quickly changes into one of her new bikinis and jumps in.  The men that are present seem quite impressed with the sight, myself included.  Everyone is jumping into the pool except me.  I am not dressed for swimming and, truth be told, I am bit bashful about going around shirtless anyway.

As the sun sets people are jumping in and out of the pool at their leisure.  Kristin spends most of the early evening lounging in the hot tub.  Then something odd happens… Rick starts hanging out with her.  They clearly begin flirting with each other with the rest of us at poolside watching.  It is a lot of brushing up against one another and close contact.  After about an hour of this Kristin goes face under in the hot tub and puts her face into Rick’s crotch for about a minute and a half.  Lisa, her dad and I watch in stunned silence.  Maybe Rick’s pee pee was cold and needed a mouth hug?

Lisa’s dad flips the switch on everything.  The lights go down, the hot tub stops and the pool machinery stops pumping.

“Come on, Dad,” Rick says.  “Turn everything back on.”

“No,” he replies.  “We are done for the night.”

This doesn’t discourage Kristin and Rick.  They have sex in the dark.  Audibly.  With Lisa, her dad and I only few feet away.  We are at a loss as to what we can do.  I am not sure how long the act lasted.  It felt forever, probably because it was uncomfortable listening to it in the first place.  Regardless, Rick finishes and crawls out of the hot tub.  He doesn’t say anything to us, he just scampers back in the house.  In the meantime Kristin remains in the hot tub and makes sex gasps while she is there.  It appears to be that she is finishing this up solo.

I want to leave but I don’t know what to do.  At this point I am okay going home but Lisa wants me to take her home too and she is waiting for her clothes to dry (this was after her dad and brother playfully pushed her in a pool about an hour earlier).  Kristin finishes her solo hot tub act and exits the hot tub.  She announces that she needs to change and heads back to one of the spare bathrooms with her sundress.  Meanwhile I help Lisa’s family tidy up the patio.  Lisa and I are ready to go.  We wait.  And wait.  And wait.  Finally Lisa’s mom asks, “Where is Kristin?  Where is Rick?”

I point toward the bathroom.  “I think they are back there somewhere.”  I had already guess why we were waiting for so long.  Lisa’s mom heads for the bathroom.

Several seconds pass.  Then her mom shouts, “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE.”

Then, papa joins in. “GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE AND NEVER COME BACK HERE AGAIN!”

Lisa joins in the fray as well.  “RICK YOU ARE FUCKING MARRIED AND YOU ARE CHEATING ON YOUR WIFE.”

Doors are beaten on.  People are yelling.  This family, who was complacent about this in the past hour, are now suddenly wild.  Lisa’s mom caught them fucking some more in the bathroom.  I am worried that they might severely beat this girl that they invited to stay the night only three hours ago.  I head towards the bathroom in case I need to intervene.  When I get back there I find that Kristin had tried to explain that she was… showering.  She is standing naked in the tub with three people screaming at her.  It appears that Rick was caught by his mother with his short around his ankles and in mid thrust.  Not a memory mom wants to have.

Kristin starts crying.  “I’m sorry.  I am so sorry.  I am a bad person.  I am drunk and I do bad things.”  She quickly puts on her sundress and I usher her out the door.  I still feel responsible for her and need to get her home.  And Lisa as well.  Yes, it is a new dilemma.

I offer my apologies to Lisa’s family.  I feel bad that I brought this person to their home.  They assure me that they have no issue with me and that it wasn’t my fault.  Lisa walks out with me.  We stick a sobbing Kristin in the backseat while Lisa rides shotgun.  Taking Kristin back to her car at Blue Mesa is uncomfortable.

When we get to the parking lot Kristin gets out without saying a word.  She has left behind her wet bikini, shopping bags and sunflower seeds.  We wait and watch to see if she will leave but her doesn’t.  She beats on her driver’s side window and steering wheel in fury.  The rear view mirror gets ripped off.  We tire of waiting and drive on.

Before I take Lisa home we make a stop at a bar.  We get a couple of shots – Mind Erasers.  We just want to be done with that night and wipe it clean from our heads.